Fear
Spouse
fears what might happen the next time the Vet bas another fit of rage, or has
another flashback.
Fears
the Vet will someday leave and abandon her and the family and never come, back.
Fears
what might be happening to the Vet when he is not home, but fears when he is
home as well.
Fears
impending financial disaster because of Vet's unstable job history, mounting
bills.
Guilt
Guilt
for having married a vet as well as guilt for having thoughts of leaving him.
Sorry
for, putting the children through the trauma.
Feeling
that "it's my fault, if I were a better wife, he would be different.”
Feels
Guilty for just about everything.
Depression
Sense
of Helplessness and hopelessness. “Tired of trying," Sets self up for
disappointment.
Low
self esteem - compulsive perfectionism, or other extreme, poor appearance, dirty
home.
Rejection
Spouse
feels that she cannot be truly intimate with the Vet and feels rejected by him.
She sees the inability of Vet to share his emotions with her as rejection of
her.
Feels
rejected by friends who no longer come around. Feels rejected by the community
because of lack of community support or social interaction.
Isolation/Alienation
Spouse,
children, and family may have few friends or be unable to relate to friends as
they would like to because Vet has alienated them with his attitude or actions
in the past.
The
few friends or family she does have are tired of hearing about her troubles with
the Vet, tell her to get rid of him.
Insecurity
May
lean on children, friends, or others too heavily for emotional support.
Constant
tension and anxiety because she never "knows what he'll do next."
Denial
Denies
that she or the children have problems, "after all, in spite of the
circumstances, look at how well I keep it together!”
Denial
that spouse has a problem or totally blames vet for all the problems.
These
are the symptoms of a dysfunctional family that has a member suffering from
P.T.S.D.
Statistics
The
suicide rate of Vietnam era vets is 86% higher than their peer group. Seventy
percent of fatal, one-car accidents have been Vietnam Veterans.
Fifty
to seventy percent of veterans have drug and alcohol abusive problems.
The
divorce rate for Vietnam veterans is double that of the general
population.
Over
one out of every three marriages (38%) of Vietnam veterans broke up within only
six months after coming home from Vietnam. Among Combat Veterans, 80-90% have
been divorced, most have been divorced several times. That means that two to
three times (Perhaps more) as many more women than men have suffered the
secondary effects of PTSD. If the number of non-marital, extra-marital
relationship broken off by Veterans were to be included in the above figure, the
number of women indirectly affected by PTSD could be considered the greatest
numerical casualty statistic of the Vietnam War.
The
effects on the children of these serial dysfunctional marriages is incalculable.
The book "Vietnam Wives" by Matsakis, lists the most common
psychological or behavioral problems found in children of Vietnam veteran
suffering from PTSD They are:
1.
Low
self esteem (83%)
2.
Developmental
difficulties in school (79%)
3.
Aggressiveness
(77%)
4.
Impaired
social relationships (69%)
5.
Symptoms
similar to those of the veteran (65%)
6.
Feeling
responsible for the vet's emotional well-being (57%)
7.
Ambivalent
feelings towards mother (42%)
8.
Preoccupation
power and death (28%)
9.
Nightmares,
daydreams, or other forms of preoccupation with events which were traumatic to
the veteran (22%)
10.
Hatred of Orientals, especially
Vietnamese persons (14%)
11.
Self mutilation (10%)
So…
WHERE
DO WE GO FRM HERE?
You nay leave, heard that PTSD is incurable. Well,
perhaps we all must live with the consequences of our past choices and
experiences, but it does not necessarily follow that we are doomed to an
unbearable home environment because of those past experiences.
When other means have not been successful in reducing the symptoms of
PTSD, Vets and their families have sought and received help through
non-traditional therapies such as offered by Point Man International Ministries.
What is so unique about Point Man?
Point
Man International, Ministries takes an approach, which deals with the moral and
spiritual aspects of man. Secular, psychiatrists and psychologists by their very
definition, have chosen to ignore the reality of the spiritual dimension of man
and in so doing, they have overlooked the only resource, which can achieve
lasting results. The traumatic experiences encountered by Biblical character of
Job is a classic example of how a man, with the help of God, can survive
horrific trauma.
We
believe that the traumatic experiences of war, because of their very nature,
have serious impact upon the conscience and the spirit of man, and that man will
be alleviated of the symptoms until those issues are dealt with, from a
spiritual context.
"Peace
on earth,” at least that internal peace which will not be easily shaken
regardless of the trauma can only be achieved through knowing The Prince of
Peace.
Do
you know someone that is married to a Vet who needs to hear some fresh
alternatives?
FOR
MORE INFORMATION CALL:
I.-800-877-VETS